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Jul. 1st, 2014

all hail


(no subject)

Two mums chatting in a Debenhams cafeteria, Wandsworth.

"My parents split up when I was six. My dad had given me a teddy and I took that teddy everywhere. He got so worn that he kept having to be stitched, he was in a terrible state. I married at 18 and divorced at 22. I got the kids but my husband kept that teddy. Now that's evil—he kept the teddy. He should have taken the kids."

Aug. 19th, 2008



Northern line tourists...

Hear last night, at Euston on my way home (in regard to the Northern Line):

"I just don't understand where there needs to be two lines.."

Um, because they go different places?!

Dec. 4th, 2006


No passing out please

After a 5 minute wait for doors to shut on tube, driver makes an announcement:

"For those who have just joined us, we've been slightly held up by a passenger emergency alarm being activated in one of the rear carrages, as one passenger was unfortuntely taken ill. Just so you know, she has now been thrown out and thoroughly beaten up for making you all wait here unnecessarily. For consideration to others, if anyone else feels like passing out, could you please try and hold on until we get to Stratford. Thanks."

Overheard by Rob, Waiting at Canada Water, Jubilee Line just after midnight.

Nov. 30th, 2006

fuck em


"KGB/Radiation business"

I couldn't help feeling slightly disconcerted when the girl sitting next to me on the no.9 bus last night came up with this little vignette, in the middle of a pleasant conversation I'd been enjoying listening-in on:

"Yeah...I was in Itsu, the Sushi bar where that Russian guy got poisoned on the day that it happened. And I've been feeling really ill ever since...I hope I'm not contagious"

Anyone else overheard anything relating to this case? It's so bizarre it's bound to throw up a few.

Nov. 29th, 2006



Alright coppa'?

While watching firemen put out this fire, three youths approach a policeman...

Policeman: Shouldn't you lot be in school?
Youth: Nah, I go to college innit?
Policeman: Actually, it's 'I go to college, don't I'? We know you go 'in it'.

Finally, people standing up for the English language!

Nov. 24th, 2006


Real Minutes

"The Central Line is quite fast, though?"

"Yeah, one every two minutes. And that's real minutes, not Northern Line minutes."

Overheard by Max, In the office just after rush hour

Nov. 20th, 2006


Scare them, when they're young

A young mother to her daughter, perhaps five years old, who dared to venture more than an arm's lenght away from her:

"Morgan! COME HERE! Do you remember that film we watched about perverts? Now hold my hand!"

Overheard by Anonymous, Clapham Common post office

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